In four words, a beautiful shit show. I know…what’s beautiful about a shit show, right? Let me tell you, I get to watch three kids grow into beautiful humans and I’m their teacher. I’m the one who gets to be proud of the humans they become. I put the work into being the best parent and human I can be for them. The shit show part? All the fighting, messes, fits, screaming, dependency……the list can go on. My point is that although its hard as hell to be a mom the rewards are far greater but we need to normalize talking about the hard times without fear of the negative comments.
Yesterday I had a fun activity planned and, in my head, I was thinking about the fun we would have. I thought I could make a post about making jello in a watermelon and how much fun we had doing it. But reality hit me like a bag of bricks. My kids just wanted the bowl of carved out watermelon. So, as I was making the jello they were in the living room making a HUGE mess getting watermelon everywhere. I had just cleaned and swept too. Then the constant bickering between Erick and Elizabeth, it seems that’s all they do lately. I mean its summer and it’s been raining and muddy so of course they are getting tired of each other. Along with their fighting I had my 18 month old attached to my leg crying because I was cleaning up and not holding him. It was so much at once I just started crying then I wiped my tears and took care of shit, like always,
I cried at least two times yesterday because I was so overwhelmed with it all. I yelled too much, I lost my temper, I was behind in cleaning, I wanted so badly to do something fun that turned out to make me more stressed, I needed to catch up on work and I just wanted a few moments to clear my head. I don’t get those moments until all three kids are in bed and then that’s when I’m able to clean and work until 1:00am. I wake up and do it all again.
Bad days ARE okay. Not every day will be a good day. Routines will be broken and get messed up, you’ll lose your temper and regret it as you watch those perfect kids sleeping. The goal is to make it through those days and push through. I’m not here to pretend to be perfect, I’m here to be real and I hope it helps others see they aren’t alone in this crazy journey called parenthood.
So hi, my name is Allie. I’m a 23 year old single mom with three kids. I want to share my life journey with you because I’m so proud of the changes I have made and continue to make to improve myself and the world my kids live in.